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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Drama
- Published: 10/08/2012
Mom, I so wanted to be your little girl
Born 1989, F, from Bayog, PhilippinesIn the beginning it was dark. But she knew she was safe in that darkness. She used to hear heart beats and it tickled her every time. It’s something that reminded her she was never alone. Those were the music in her little dark world.
There were times when she heard voices. Sometimes they were comforting. Sometimes they were rude. It worried her and she knew that there was something wrong. But she never even bothered to ask. There was something that kept telling her to never intervene. Then she could hear a woman’s weeping. She hated it so much that it broke her heart and she could easily feel like crying too. It was a strange feeling for her but lately it became constant. And she broke so often she could hardly breathe.
One time during her playtime hours she heard bangings. It was way out of her comfort zone but it felt so close. It was too loud, it could break her tiny underdeveloped ears. Then she heard a raged man’s voice saying, “Take her out of your stomach and we’re good as new. Keep her and I’ll leave!” Those words were too hard for her to understand but the man’s voice was too familiar.
She felt a pinprick went straight her heart. Unexpectedly, she felt like an unwanted child. Then her heart ached and suddenly she felt like crying. Out of the blue, she heard a weeping woman say, “I can’t do it.” It was the gloomiest voice she had ever heard and it was begging for mercy. And then again she heard him in his angered voice, “Undergo an abortion and I’m yours for keeps. Refuse it and consider this relationship done!”
Abortion? It was new for her but it freaked her out. It seemed to sound evil for her. In her innocence, she asked, “What is abortion?” But she never really got the answer because no one cared enough to tell her what abortion was. When the bangings were over so were the talkings and everything went dead silence.
It was in that silence that she recognized she was turning into a human being. She had tiny hands and feet with tiny fingers attached to them. She had arms and legs. When her little hand reached her chest, she heard a faint beat. Right there and then she knew she had a heart.
The realization hit her and she no longer wondered why she felt like crying sometimes. For the first time in her life she mumbled, “Mommy”. That was the woman’s name. That’s how she’s going to call her. She was her mommy and she’s her little girl. Happiness lightened up her small world and she drifted into sleep.
Comfortably tucked she started dreaming. Suddenly it turned into a nightmare. Suddenly the physical pain felt so real. She could hear a woman’s screams and her world started to shatter. In an instant she was being pulled off. It was too rushed, her body parts broke. The pain was too intense she couldn’t bear it anymore that she pleaded for help.
She screamed, she begged, but it didn’t stop. She called for help many times but no one was there. She fought hard because she wanted to survive. She wanted to live. She wanted to see what the outside world looked like. She wanted to see her mommy. She wanted to tell her how much she loved her and she wanted her mommy to know that. But she seemed deaf to her cries.
She battled that thing that kept dragging her out. But she’s too weak to fight her battle that her earned strength was of no use. The least she knew she was already ripped off. Right there and then she knew she wiould never be the same again.
As her senses started to weaken, once more she looked at her world being torn to pieces. She knew this was how far she could go. But at least she did try. With heavy and aching heart she managed to say for the last time, “Mom, I so wanted to be your little girl.” And as her once little comfortable dark world turned to its darkest, she knew she will never lay eyes on it again. Then everything blacked out and she drifted into her forever sleep.
Mom, I so wanted to be your little girl(Liezel Matias)
In the beginning it was dark. But she knew she was safe in that darkness. She used to hear heart beats and it tickled her every time. It’s something that reminded her she was never alone. Those were the music in her little dark world.
There were times when she heard voices. Sometimes they were comforting. Sometimes they were rude. It worried her and she knew that there was something wrong. But she never even bothered to ask. There was something that kept telling her to never intervene. Then she could hear a woman’s weeping. She hated it so much that it broke her heart and she could easily feel like crying too. It was a strange feeling for her but lately it became constant. And she broke so often she could hardly breathe.
One time during her playtime hours she heard bangings. It was way out of her comfort zone but it felt so close. It was too loud, it could break her tiny underdeveloped ears. Then she heard a raged man’s voice saying, “Take her out of your stomach and we’re good as new. Keep her and I’ll leave!” Those words were too hard for her to understand but the man’s voice was too familiar.
She felt a pinprick went straight her heart. Unexpectedly, she felt like an unwanted child. Then her heart ached and suddenly she felt like crying. Out of the blue, she heard a weeping woman say, “I can’t do it.” It was the gloomiest voice she had ever heard and it was begging for mercy. And then again she heard him in his angered voice, “Undergo an abortion and I’m yours for keeps. Refuse it and consider this relationship done!”
Abortion? It was new for her but it freaked her out. It seemed to sound evil for her. In her innocence, she asked, “What is abortion?” But she never really got the answer because no one cared enough to tell her what abortion was. When the bangings were over so were the talkings and everything went dead silence.
It was in that silence that she recognized she was turning into a human being. She had tiny hands and feet with tiny fingers attached to them. She had arms and legs. When her little hand reached her chest, she heard a faint beat. Right there and then she knew she had a heart.
The realization hit her and she no longer wondered why she felt like crying sometimes. For the first time in her life she mumbled, “Mommy”. That was the woman’s name. That’s how she’s going to call her. She was her mommy and she’s her little girl. Happiness lightened up her small world and she drifted into sleep.
Comfortably tucked she started dreaming. Suddenly it turned into a nightmare. Suddenly the physical pain felt so real. She could hear a woman’s screams and her world started to shatter. In an instant she was being pulled off. It was too rushed, her body parts broke. The pain was too intense she couldn’t bear it anymore that she pleaded for help.
She screamed, she begged, but it didn’t stop. She called for help many times but no one was there. She fought hard because she wanted to survive. She wanted to live. She wanted to see what the outside world looked like. She wanted to see her mommy. She wanted to tell her how much she loved her and she wanted her mommy to know that. But she seemed deaf to her cries.
She battled that thing that kept dragging her out. But she’s too weak to fight her battle that her earned strength was of no use. The least she knew she was already ripped off. Right there and then she knew she wiould never be the same again.
As her senses started to weaken, once more she looked at her world being torn to pieces. She knew this was how far she could go. But at least she did try. With heavy and aching heart she managed to say for the last time, “Mom, I so wanted to be your little girl.” And as her once little comfortable dark world turned to its darkest, she knew she will never lay eyes on it again. Then everything blacked out and she drifted into her forever sleep.
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