Congratulations !
You have been awarded points.
Thank you for !
- Story Listed as: Fiction For Teens
- Theme: Family & Friends
- Subject: Comedy / Humor
- Published: 05/15/2024
OH THE IRONY
Born 1950, M, from Bromsgrove, United KingdomWhat I am about to say will shock you. I hate social media and the Internet. And before you ask I am not an octogenarian or a nonagenarian. Or is that ageist? Whatever - I am 18. What sort of freak am I? Everyone I know has facebook or instagram or tweets or twitters. Their phones might as well be an appendage to their faces.
They post pictures two or three times a week and wait for the inevitable responses which could be comments or emojis. I'm sure they compete for who can get the most. When I ask who they are from they say "friends." I say "100+ friends, that's impressive." Sometimes they show me. I feel obliged to look but also slightly embarrassed. If you look at the last few posts you see the responses are always from the same people. What is more those who respond first are generally boringly repetitive. They must sit there waiting for posts to appear. I recognise some of the names. A mixture of fellow cruise ship employees and current, or former cruisers. Oops sorry I forgot to mention what I do.
I am part of the production company on a cruise ship, one of 5 male dancers. A disappointment to my dad, of whom more later. This is my first contract and I'm nearing the end of my six months. When we are introduced as pairs to the passengers the entertainment manager says our names then he says "from South Africa, from Sweden or from USA." The reality is it should be "from Barnsley, from Skegness, from Oldham." We also find the presence of the international dance couple in the theatre somewhat off-putting. We know they will be watching our frames and hand positions when we do the ballroom bits. They frown at splayed hands, raised shoulders and dropped elbows. I do not disappoint them. My piece de resistance is the Dirty Dancing lift. It always gets applause.
Everyone assumes it is a glamorous lifestyle. It is far from that. Many parts of the ship are out of reach so we spend most of our time in the crew area or in our cabins. This means the others use social media and the Internet as a crutch.
Three months ago my parents joined me for a week to the fjords. Boy was that a mistake! I ate dinner with them one night. We were on a table for eight. I happened to say to mum. "You're looking good." She said "well I have been trying to lose weight before we came on the cruise. I did. I lost 3 pounds last week." "Well done mum," I said. Then dad intervened. "Lost," he said, "you haven't lost them, you've just misplaced them." As you can imagine that silenced the table somewhat. Everyone, apart from me, spent the rest of the meal on their phones not sure where to look. Any wonder I hate social media and the Internet. Friends, and parents, can't live without them. I've often thought about the roads down which people's lives go and what causes them to cross each other's roads. It is like they are concentric circles or parallel lines and social media only contributes to that.
Oh sorry I forgot. Without the Internet I wouldn't be here. My parents are an early product of match.com. How ironic is that?
OH THE IRONY(Bernie Martin)
What I am about to say will shock you. I hate social media and the Internet. And before you ask I am not an octogenarian or a nonagenarian. Or is that ageist? Whatever - I am 18. What sort of freak am I? Everyone I know has facebook or instagram or tweets or twitters. Their phones might as well be an appendage to their faces.
They post pictures two or three times a week and wait for the inevitable responses which could be comments or emojis. I'm sure they compete for who can get the most. When I ask who they are from they say "friends." I say "100+ friends, that's impressive." Sometimes they show me. I feel obliged to look but also slightly embarrassed. If you look at the last few posts you see the responses are always from the same people. What is more those who respond first are generally boringly repetitive. They must sit there waiting for posts to appear. I recognise some of the names. A mixture of fellow cruise ship employees and current, or former cruisers. Oops sorry I forgot to mention what I do.
I am part of the production company on a cruise ship, one of 5 male dancers. A disappointment to my dad, of whom more later. This is my first contract and I'm nearing the end of my six months. When we are introduced as pairs to the passengers the entertainment manager says our names then he says "from South Africa, from Sweden or from USA." The reality is it should be "from Barnsley, from Skegness, from Oldham." We also find the presence of the international dance couple in the theatre somewhat off-putting. We know they will be watching our frames and hand positions when we do the ballroom bits. They frown at splayed hands, raised shoulders and dropped elbows. I do not disappoint them. My piece de resistance is the Dirty Dancing lift. It always gets applause.
Everyone assumes it is a glamorous lifestyle. It is far from that. Many parts of the ship are out of reach so we spend most of our time in the crew area or in our cabins. This means the others use social media and the Internet as a crutch.
Three months ago my parents joined me for a week to the fjords. Boy was that a mistake! I ate dinner with them one night. We were on a table for eight. I happened to say to mum. "You're looking good." She said "well I have been trying to lose weight before we came on the cruise. I did. I lost 3 pounds last week." "Well done mum," I said. Then dad intervened. "Lost," he said, "you haven't lost them, you've just misplaced them." As you can imagine that silenced the table somewhat. Everyone, apart from me, spent the rest of the meal on their phones not sure where to look. Any wonder I hate social media and the Internet. Friends, and parents, can't live without them. I've often thought about the roads down which people's lives go and what causes them to cross each other's roads. It is like they are concentric circles or parallel lines and social media only contributes to that.
Oh sorry I forgot. Without the Internet I wouldn't be here. My parents are an early product of match.com. How ironic is that?
- Share this story on
- 2
COMMENTS (0)