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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Drama / Human Interest
- Subject: Adventure
- Published: 07/20/2021
MAXETTES IN THE MAGIC MOUNTAINS
Born 1947, M, from Zurich, SwitzerlandAlbum Cover: Brutus – Behind The Mountains
Observations from a Medical Rehabilitation Center for the not-so rich and famous.
We are in the hills near the European Alps. In mountains not that far from ‘THE Magic Mountain’. We are all recovering from some illness or surgery. Some clearly bear the signatures of heart surgery – chest harnesses, slits in the legs where veinous raw material was mined. Others show tales of sport injuries – plasters, bandages, splits and crutches. Another group shows no physical injuries, but from their hesitant movement are also recovering from surgery. Some of ‘non-injured’ are ‘Psychosomatic Patients’, and some show worried faces and uncertainties in their hectic movements.
As we are all living in a restricted space together for several weeks, one can’t help but notice the attitudes and conversations of the many patients. You may have met several of these stereotypes yourself, in restaurants and hotels. Here in the Rehabilitation Clinic one observes the stereotypes continually and at first hand.
Clinics are opening all over the Magic Mountains, because many patients want to partake in supervised recovery - rather than trying to do it alone, or when back at work. There are also Nobler Rehabs nearby which cater for the rich and famous.
For example, ‘Fit for Rich’ speaks for itself. They want the big money bringers - not those supported by Health Insurance. They cater to oligarchs, government officials from all countries, and the ‘noveau riche’. This last group represent the ‘moneystocracy’, the ‘goldostocracy’, ‘rapidostocracy’ among other similar names.
‘Royal Recovery’ is like the ‘Fit for Rich’ but in addition caters to world aristocracy and nobility – or so they advertise!
The ‘Kings Conquest’ is more specific about its wished-for candidates. Those who come from almost-forgotten countries with forgotten nobility, often have special cause - and oftentimes these are far from surgical recovery.
The ‘Maharajas Moment’ and the ‘Tsars Touch’ are more specific about which rich and which oligarchs they wish to attract.
You may have heard of ‘The Slip’, where the rich and famous go to recover from their latest binge. Their advertising mentions ‘for rich repeated addicts’!
Our Rehabilitation Clinic, the ‘Patients Progress’, is for the not-so rich and famous. It deals with people lucky enough to have Health Insurance that covers such privileges.
I will soon introduce you to some of the stereotypes encountered here.
But first let me introduce a mythical but very real personality! The ‘Strammer Max’ is a German sandwich – usually open and grilled. ‘Strammer Max’ also refers to the appendages like those beneath a virile bull. Thus the character of a ‘Strammer Max’ thinks they are tough, almighty, sought after by all women because of their virality - with or without viagral addition. They are macho-types of the toughest dimensions. They dress in distinctive styles and behave in their chosen way!
Macho Morris is just such a guy -- muscular, only ever wears a black undershirt -- without any further clothes even in freezing weather, gold chains, always expects to be agreed with, a really tough guy! There is also a Macha Monica – a barfly, ‘Stammtisch-member’, muscular biker girl who dresses like a boy, tattooed, and usually without a smile. It is not clear whom she is trying to attract. For us she represents the ‘Stramme Maxette’!
There are quite a few sport injuries here typified by ‘Fearless Freddy’ who hobbles about on crutches, but despite this he is still running about. He is frequently followed by ‘Velocity Vincent’ -- who is here again after the last of his several bike crashes. You can meet these ‘boys on bikes’ before their accidents at road crossings, especially those where aggressive car drivers are in competition for jump-starts. Freddy and Vincent belong to the group who automatically think they have right of way because biking has been declared as ‘environmentally friendly’ – these biker-boys continually push in front. Except when they are driving cars - and for them the bikers should get out of their way! They belong to the ‘Me First Club’ -- which we will encounter later in other stereotypes.
Among the sports injured are also female ‘Freddies and Vincents’ who like Freddy and Vincent are much older than teenagers. You may have encountered these older bikers who think they can return to their former sportiness by simply climbing onto an electro-bike. At the famous cross roads, one older biker after another does not want to slow down - as the bike is flying along with momentum that reminds them probably of their ‘youthful days’! Seemingly these elderly speeders might assume that they have endless rights - after they have joined their own Chapter of the ‘Me First Club’!
Some of the other stereotypes:
Leopold Leiter is a character who scrambles up the social ladder. Often he is so ambitious that he thinks perhaps that he can scramble up several rungs and achieve nobility within his lifetime.
Loud Lenny always has something to say. He breaks into groups without thinking about those already there, and shouts his nonsense -- thinking they are great words of wisdom!
Vulgar Victor does not thank staff for service. No ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ when served. His rehearsed sour face, he thinks, makes him aloof and of higher value than the others.
Snoddy Simon does not greet any other people. He knows everything, and like Vulgar Victor behaves as an aloof, and sits with a sour distaining face.
Then there was Norbert the definitely Non-Samaritan, who when a patient threw up the contents of their stomach in the dining room -- albeit discretely, complained to the staff that such behaviour should not be tolerated here – after all he was paying real money for the first class-service that he expected. The service lady simply said,“ I am sorry sir about this, but we are a recovery hospital, not primarily a first-class restaurant. I am sure the patient will appreciate your concern and help -- if it should happen again”.
Queuejumper Quentin just goes straight to the front of the line of people who are politely waiting. He seems to think that the others are fools who deserve to be overtaken. Unfortunately most people say nothing for fear they will be misjudged, or growled at by Queuejumper Quentin – while in fact they are awarding him points for his aggressive behaviour!
We meet Indignant Iris, who never holds back her opinion, and complains to whoever that things are not being done ‘properly’! Iris is also like Queuejumper Quentin in that she pushes past queuers to get to the desk to lodge her complaint, and like Snoddy Simon in that at the reception, restaurant and medical station does not greet those who are about to be complained at.
Miserable Mary appears to be depressed all the time, especially when others might be looking.
Beautiful Betty is always touching her hair and looking into her hand mirror.
Demure Doris is from a classical family. She looks smart and moves just right.
Famous Frances is a famous personality – of course! But we do not know which role model she has chosen to define her behaviour!
Smiling Samantha is always smiling. It took some time to realize that it was her hygene facemask!
Penelope Piano plays piano even if no one asked for it. She announced that “I need to do it for my mental health” – which has become a label these days for those who wish to criticise the world even if the world is not interested. At least Penelope played well - compared to other profligators yesterday, who were disturbing the ‘Mountain Quiet’ with repetitions of children’s exercises for piano!
Many of the girls met in small groups, building friendships and learning about each other.
Some therapist might have told them that open discussion ‘opens the mind’. The girls were making great progress, even those who had looked hectic and lost were gaining back their feet on the ground! Some men also chatted with their neighbours and exchanged greetings as they walked about trying to recover their muscle strength. Unfortunately many of the mentioned stereotypes continued in their isolation and aloofness!
As the days went on, the girls collected around Penelope Piano -- and it turned out that several had musical talents. Soon a whole range of musical instruments was acquired, and interesting music emerged. The girls rehearsed while the rest of us had left the clinic for organized walks to restore our muscles. So we did not hear their music until one evening it was announced that they would play for us. Most of us streamed into the exercise hall where seats had been set out -- socially distanced, and we were expected to keep our facemasks on. When all were seated, the musicians streamed in -- most clutching each one of the assorted instruments.
The big surprise was when Macha Monica stood up as a much more secure person, and announced that she wanted to introduce a New Band. She told us that the New Band was to be called ‘Maxettes in the Magic Mountains’! She added, “while at the moment we are an ‘All-girl Band’ it must not stay that way. Any able musicians who want to play our kind of music are invited to apply to join, at least until we have a full orchestra!" Maxette Monica went on “The girls have elected me to be manager and organizer, as I have no particular music talents -- despite that I play around with a mouth harmonica. I pass over the word to Penelope Piano who is our elected Band Leader.
Penelope introduced the Band, ‘We have developed a new style of Band Music which uses the twanging instruments of Heavy Metal Music, but played in a gentle relaxing way. We wish to awaken the whole range of our senses, not deaden them with excess decibels. For the classically-oriented music lovers here, I would like to describe our music like the ‘Perigrinages of Frantz Liszt’, played something in the style of the Silk Road Ensemble, but with modern instruments in a gentle balanced fashion”!
“Ole’!” echoed the rest of the Band.
The ‘Maxettes’ played very well, a new and almost haunting music. It uplifted our souls and awakened our dreams. The whole audience felt individually transposed to their places of quiet.
Moreover the ‘Maxettes of the Magic Mountains’ became a household word – at least among the other Rehab Clinics nearby. It was a wonderful tonic for all members of the Band, and their healing proceeded quite fast and very solidly.
Now you might well ask why I think I can take the liberty of judging others, and you might say “Oh, how easy it is to judge others without ever thinking what they might think about us?” You might reject my claim that I am only writing ‘descriptions’ and not ‘judgements’!
I can be seen as the bear-like character sitting in the corner watching the world go by.
That is why I sit in the corner with the Giant Teddy Bear, hoping that the passers-by just see two stuffed bears and basically ignore me. This way I can escape judgement. My stereotype is probably a mixture of most of the above!
It is not easy to divide the world into a small number of groups that describe human behaviour. But certainly one group contains those people who live inside their egos – are always correct, live in isolation. These live to profit from Nature or other people, expect the world’s people to fall in line behind them, and miss the glories of the surrounding Nature and its life forms. Thankfully there is another major group of people who live outside of their egos – they acknowledge other people -- even enjoy the social interaction, and who respect Nature and its life forms.
----------------------------
MAXETTES IN THE MAGIC MOUNTAINS(Alan Bruce)
Album Cover: Brutus – Behind The Mountains
Observations from a Medical Rehabilitation Center for the not-so rich and famous.
We are in the hills near the European Alps. In mountains not that far from ‘THE Magic Mountain’. We are all recovering from some illness or surgery. Some clearly bear the signatures of heart surgery – chest harnesses, slits in the legs where veinous raw material was mined. Others show tales of sport injuries – plasters, bandages, splits and crutches. Another group shows no physical injuries, but from their hesitant movement are also recovering from surgery. Some of ‘non-injured’ are ‘Psychosomatic Patients’, and some show worried faces and uncertainties in their hectic movements.
As we are all living in a restricted space together for several weeks, one can’t help but notice the attitudes and conversations of the many patients. You may have met several of these stereotypes yourself, in restaurants and hotels. Here in the Rehabilitation Clinic one observes the stereotypes continually and at first hand.
Clinics are opening all over the Magic Mountains, because many patients want to partake in supervised recovery - rather than trying to do it alone, or when back at work. There are also Nobler Rehabs nearby which cater for the rich and famous.
For example, ‘Fit for Rich’ speaks for itself. They want the big money bringers - not those supported by Health Insurance. They cater to oligarchs, government officials from all countries, and the ‘noveau riche’. This last group represent the ‘moneystocracy’, the ‘goldostocracy’, ‘rapidostocracy’ among other similar names.
‘Royal Recovery’ is like the ‘Fit for Rich’ but in addition caters to world aristocracy and nobility – or so they advertise!
The ‘Kings Conquest’ is more specific about its wished-for candidates. Those who come from almost-forgotten countries with forgotten nobility, often have special cause - and oftentimes these are far from surgical recovery.
The ‘Maharajas Moment’ and the ‘Tsars Touch’ are more specific about which rich and which oligarchs they wish to attract.
You may have heard of ‘The Slip’, where the rich and famous go to recover from their latest binge. Their advertising mentions ‘for rich repeated addicts’!
Our Rehabilitation Clinic, the ‘Patients Progress’, is for the not-so rich and famous. It deals with people lucky enough to have Health Insurance that covers such privileges.
I will soon introduce you to some of the stereotypes encountered here.
But first let me introduce a mythical but very real personality! The ‘Strammer Max’ is a German sandwich – usually open and grilled. ‘Strammer Max’ also refers to the appendages like those beneath a virile bull. Thus the character of a ‘Strammer Max’ thinks they are tough, almighty, sought after by all women because of their virality - with or without viagral addition. They are macho-types of the toughest dimensions. They dress in distinctive styles and behave in their chosen way!
Macho Morris is just such a guy -- muscular, only ever wears a black undershirt -- without any further clothes even in freezing weather, gold chains, always expects to be agreed with, a really tough guy! There is also a Macha Monica – a barfly, ‘Stammtisch-member’, muscular biker girl who dresses like a boy, tattooed, and usually without a smile. It is not clear whom she is trying to attract. For us she represents the ‘Stramme Maxette’!
There are quite a few sport injuries here typified by ‘Fearless Freddy’ who hobbles about on crutches, but despite this he is still running about. He is frequently followed by ‘Velocity Vincent’ -- who is here again after the last of his several bike crashes. You can meet these ‘boys on bikes’ before their accidents at road crossings, especially those where aggressive car drivers are in competition for jump-starts. Freddy and Vincent belong to the group who automatically think they have right of way because biking has been declared as ‘environmentally friendly’ – these biker-boys continually push in front. Except when they are driving cars - and for them the bikers should get out of their way! They belong to the ‘Me First Club’ -- which we will encounter later in other stereotypes.
Among the sports injured are also female ‘Freddies and Vincents’ who like Freddy and Vincent are much older than teenagers. You may have encountered these older bikers who think they can return to their former sportiness by simply climbing onto an electro-bike. At the famous cross roads, one older biker after another does not want to slow down - as the bike is flying along with momentum that reminds them probably of their ‘youthful days’! Seemingly these elderly speeders might assume that they have endless rights - after they have joined their own Chapter of the ‘Me First Club’!
Some of the other stereotypes:
Leopold Leiter is a character who scrambles up the social ladder. Often he is so ambitious that he thinks perhaps that he can scramble up several rungs and achieve nobility within his lifetime.
Loud Lenny always has something to say. He breaks into groups without thinking about those already there, and shouts his nonsense -- thinking they are great words of wisdom!
Vulgar Victor does not thank staff for service. No ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ when served. His rehearsed sour face, he thinks, makes him aloof and of higher value than the others.
Snoddy Simon does not greet any other people. He knows everything, and like Vulgar Victor behaves as an aloof, and sits with a sour distaining face.
Then there was Norbert the definitely Non-Samaritan, who when a patient threw up the contents of their stomach in the dining room -- albeit discretely, complained to the staff that such behaviour should not be tolerated here – after all he was paying real money for the first class-service that he expected. The service lady simply said,“ I am sorry sir about this, but we are a recovery hospital, not primarily a first-class restaurant. I am sure the patient will appreciate your concern and help -- if it should happen again”.
Queuejumper Quentin just goes straight to the front of the line of people who are politely waiting. He seems to think that the others are fools who deserve to be overtaken. Unfortunately most people say nothing for fear they will be misjudged, or growled at by Queuejumper Quentin – while in fact they are awarding him points for his aggressive behaviour!
We meet Indignant Iris, who never holds back her opinion, and complains to whoever that things are not being done ‘properly’! Iris is also like Queuejumper Quentin in that she pushes past queuers to get to the desk to lodge her complaint, and like Snoddy Simon in that at the reception, restaurant and medical station does not greet those who are about to be complained at.
Miserable Mary appears to be depressed all the time, especially when others might be looking.
Beautiful Betty is always touching her hair and looking into her hand mirror.
Demure Doris is from a classical family. She looks smart and moves just right.
Famous Frances is a famous personality – of course! But we do not know which role model she has chosen to define her behaviour!
Smiling Samantha is always smiling. It took some time to realize that it was her hygene facemask!
Penelope Piano plays piano even if no one asked for it. She announced that “I need to do it for my mental health” – which has become a label these days for those who wish to criticise the world even if the world is not interested. At least Penelope played well - compared to other profligators yesterday, who were disturbing the ‘Mountain Quiet’ with repetitions of children’s exercises for piano!
Many of the girls met in small groups, building friendships and learning about each other.
Some therapist might have told them that open discussion ‘opens the mind’. The girls were making great progress, even those who had looked hectic and lost were gaining back their feet on the ground! Some men also chatted with their neighbours and exchanged greetings as they walked about trying to recover their muscle strength. Unfortunately many of the mentioned stereotypes continued in their isolation and aloofness!
As the days went on, the girls collected around Penelope Piano -- and it turned out that several had musical talents. Soon a whole range of musical instruments was acquired, and interesting music emerged. The girls rehearsed while the rest of us had left the clinic for organized walks to restore our muscles. So we did not hear their music until one evening it was announced that they would play for us. Most of us streamed into the exercise hall where seats had been set out -- socially distanced, and we were expected to keep our facemasks on. When all were seated, the musicians streamed in -- most clutching each one of the assorted instruments.
The big surprise was when Macha Monica stood up as a much more secure person, and announced that she wanted to introduce a New Band. She told us that the New Band was to be called ‘Maxettes in the Magic Mountains’! She added, “while at the moment we are an ‘All-girl Band’ it must not stay that way. Any able musicians who want to play our kind of music are invited to apply to join, at least until we have a full orchestra!" Maxette Monica went on “The girls have elected me to be manager and organizer, as I have no particular music talents -- despite that I play around with a mouth harmonica. I pass over the word to Penelope Piano who is our elected Band Leader.
Penelope introduced the Band, ‘We have developed a new style of Band Music which uses the twanging instruments of Heavy Metal Music, but played in a gentle relaxing way. We wish to awaken the whole range of our senses, not deaden them with excess decibels. For the classically-oriented music lovers here, I would like to describe our music like the ‘Perigrinages of Frantz Liszt’, played something in the style of the Silk Road Ensemble, but with modern instruments in a gentle balanced fashion”!
“Ole’!” echoed the rest of the Band.
The ‘Maxettes’ played very well, a new and almost haunting music. It uplifted our souls and awakened our dreams. The whole audience felt individually transposed to their places of quiet.
Moreover the ‘Maxettes of the Magic Mountains’ became a household word – at least among the other Rehab Clinics nearby. It was a wonderful tonic for all members of the Band, and their healing proceeded quite fast and very solidly.
Now you might well ask why I think I can take the liberty of judging others, and you might say “Oh, how easy it is to judge others without ever thinking what they might think about us?” You might reject my claim that I am only writing ‘descriptions’ and not ‘judgements’!
I can be seen as the bear-like character sitting in the corner watching the world go by.
That is why I sit in the corner with the Giant Teddy Bear, hoping that the passers-by just see two stuffed bears and basically ignore me. This way I can escape judgement. My stereotype is probably a mixture of most of the above!
It is not easy to divide the world into a small number of groups that describe human behaviour. But certainly one group contains those people who live inside their egos – are always correct, live in isolation. These live to profit from Nature or other people, expect the world’s people to fall in line behind them, and miss the glories of the surrounding Nature and its life forms. Thankfully there is another major group of people who live outside of their egos – they acknowledge other people -- even enjoy the social interaction, and who respect Nature and its life forms.
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