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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Kids
- Theme: Horror
- Subject: Horror / Scary
- Published: 07/06/2021
in the dark dark ................
Born 2009, F, from O, CanadaOne day it was a dark dark night
And in the dark dark night, there was a dark dark house
And in the dark dark house, there was a dark dark room
And in the dark dark room, there was a dark dark closet
And in the dark dark closet, there was a dark dark box
And in the dark dark box, there was a dark dark bag
And in the dark dark bag, there was a dark dark chest
And in the dark dark chest, there was another chest
And in the chest was a ………………
And then in the chest was a dark black key that led to another dark dark room
And in that dark darkroom was another dark dark closet and in that dark dark
closet was a big box with a big red sticker DON’T OPEN!!
But you open it and out comes a loud shriek
The shriek that will make you cry
But then you recognize it was a shriek
That ......
You will make when you go to the shop buy ice cream cones and come back home and you forgot to buy ice cream.
THE END
in the dark dark ................(Yusik)
One day it was a dark dark night
And in the dark dark night, there was a dark dark house
And in the dark dark house, there was a dark dark room
And in the dark dark room, there was a dark dark closet
And in the dark dark closet, there was a dark dark box
And in the dark dark box, there was a dark dark bag
And in the dark dark bag, there was a dark dark chest
And in the dark dark chest, there was another chest
And in the chest was a ………………
And then in the chest was a dark black key that led to another dark dark room
And in that dark darkroom was another dark dark closet and in that dark dark
closet was a big box with a big red sticker DON’T OPEN!!
But you open it and out comes a loud shriek
The shriek that will make you cry
But then you recognize it was a shriek
That ......
You will make when you go to the shop buy ice cream cones and come back home and you forgot to buy ice cream.
THE END
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Archisha Srivastava
08/08/2021ha ha! That story was very funny. It had many twists, and ended in a funny way. I liked the story very much. Keep it up!
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Yusik
08/10/2021aww. Thanks so much, I was going to make a different ending but I liked this one more!
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Kevin A. Kimball
07/07/2021Hahahahahaha!
I can't help it, that was fun. Reminded me of bad campfire horror stories.
The initial structure worked well, but I would've liked to see it either continue, or break into a more traditional structure. Even in short form, grammar and mechanics should help convey the story, even when ignored. The first section did this well, the second part felt clunky.
Overall, it made me smile. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was a twist ending that I sure didn't see coming! I'd love to see it developed further and told around a campfire for dramatic effect.
Well done and happy writing!
Respectfully,
Kevin
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Mark Harmon
07/06/2021I recognized your name as the one who commented on my story so I figured I would return the favor! Also, my sequels finally out. Also also, I feel like this is more of a poem than a horror story. But maybe I just have to wait for part 2 to come out.
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COMMENTS (3)