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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Survival / Success
- Subject: Death / Heartbreak / Loss
- Published: 09/28/2016
Journal of Sorrows
Born 1992, M, from Newcastle kwazulu natal, South AfricaJournal of sorrow
(Memory)
Girl: Daddy ….daddy … please wake up! I think someone is at our house .I heard footsteps I’m scared please wake up. (Breathing roughly)(Heart beating fast)
Daddy: ‘’I’m resting my baby girl and no one is at our house .I’ll go and check but trust me my angel. For as long as I’m breathing nothing will ever touch you I promise.
Daddy: (Gun shots fired!) Run baby girl …run!!! Don’t look back .don’t call on the police!
Girl: No!!! Daddy don’t you leave me too!! I will not survive…I need you….. (Screaming loud)
The streets are not friendly, they choose not to be kind to any. What makes life a burden is the matters and choices of the past .the past is special and need to be considered for the greater things to be achieved. I am my father’s girl for he raised me when my mom left too soon. Let your ears hear the sound of my voice .let your face, eyes see my existence. Let your skin feel my presence .I will move mountains for you daddy .although you left me too soon! I long for just a moment with you .to hear your voice telling me that it will be well and nothing will hurt me.
How I think things could have turned out differently .only if the clock could be turned back. I need the love that you showed me, I can no longer have it. Please. I pray to the man above to watch over my parents from the place that the flash cannot see. Walking in this life alone is my burden. If the man above planned for me to walk through it alone how unfair it is .how I wish for a chance to call you father at the moment of my choosing. I wish to have appreciated all the little things you’ve done for me.
My heart hurts a lot that you rose me from the street from nothing ,you were building the empire for generations to come .my eyes were concerned on blaming you for all the other things I couldn’t get, the other things you couldn’t provide for me that were immaterial to the life as I see it now. Most of all I blamed you dad for what Mr Raid did to me when I was 14 years old. That night will never leave my thought I still remember his grip on my neck, the scars he made on my back just to get what he desired .you can’t blame me for that .it was the matters of my heart .you were close to him and I kept on asking myself where were you? Only to realise you were always with me, you never left me, it was just me being caught in the wrong moment.
Surviving this life alone has taken a tall at me. I’m afraid of the person I see when looking in the mirror. I ask myself who is she? I don’t recognise the person I’m seeing .the daddies’ little girl is no more .a girl‘s got to do what she thinks is best for her. I question myself when did I lose my self .was I ever living .I seemed to have been lost in the moment I did not choose. The beautiful sweat little girl is no more .all I see Is a gold digger ,all men puppet .a quick cheap change is all that I see and jump just to stay alive. I always heard about hustling to stay alive. I need a secondary eye to help me change my ways.
I don’t like this life. I did not choose it but it seems to have chosen me. They promised me that they will make me a star and make me the best of the best .I listened to them but for men are only concerned with benefits. I thought I listened with caution but clearly I was not .I did not realise that it was all cheap talk.my heart is sinking in the life I did not choose. Only you can help me dad…no one understands me better than you .you were my hope, my pillar of strengths. I got so lost in my sorrows in that I became foolish and I forgot how to live without depending on men. It’s driving me crazy in that I have forgotten how to live my life with a smile on my face .all I see is a lost cause.
I’m tired of living like a brainless person. I am taking a decision that I should have taken many years ago. I will move off the streets. They have done nothing good for me .Although I seem to be lost and all doors are shut for me, I will make you proud .I will be my daddy’s little girl again.
Written by nsizwa
Journal of Sorrows(nsizwa D kubheka)
Journal of sorrow
(Memory)
Girl: Daddy ….daddy … please wake up! I think someone is at our house .I heard footsteps I’m scared please wake up. (Breathing roughly)(Heart beating fast)
Daddy: ‘’I’m resting my baby girl and no one is at our house .I’ll go and check but trust me my angel. For as long as I’m breathing nothing will ever touch you I promise.
Daddy: (Gun shots fired!) Run baby girl …run!!! Don’t look back .don’t call on the police!
Girl: No!!! Daddy don’t you leave me too!! I will not survive…I need you….. (Screaming loud)
The streets are not friendly, they choose not to be kind to any. What makes life a burden is the matters and choices of the past .the past is special and need to be considered for the greater things to be achieved. I am my father’s girl for he raised me when my mom left too soon. Let your ears hear the sound of my voice .let your face, eyes see my existence. Let your skin feel my presence .I will move mountains for you daddy .although you left me too soon! I long for just a moment with you .to hear your voice telling me that it will be well and nothing will hurt me.
How I think things could have turned out differently .only if the clock could be turned back. I need the love that you showed me, I can no longer have it. Please. I pray to the man above to watch over my parents from the place that the flash cannot see. Walking in this life alone is my burden. If the man above planned for me to walk through it alone how unfair it is .how I wish for a chance to call you father at the moment of my choosing. I wish to have appreciated all the little things you’ve done for me.
My heart hurts a lot that you rose me from the street from nothing ,you were building the empire for generations to come .my eyes were concerned on blaming you for all the other things I couldn’t get, the other things you couldn’t provide for me that were immaterial to the life as I see it now. Most of all I blamed you dad for what Mr Raid did to me when I was 14 years old. That night will never leave my thought I still remember his grip on my neck, the scars he made on my back just to get what he desired .you can’t blame me for that .it was the matters of my heart .you were close to him and I kept on asking myself where were you? Only to realise you were always with me, you never left me, it was just me being caught in the wrong moment.
Surviving this life alone has taken a tall at me. I’m afraid of the person I see when looking in the mirror. I ask myself who is she? I don’t recognise the person I’m seeing .the daddies’ little girl is no more .a girl‘s got to do what she thinks is best for her. I question myself when did I lose my self .was I ever living .I seemed to have been lost in the moment I did not choose. The beautiful sweat little girl is no more .all I see Is a gold digger ,all men puppet .a quick cheap change is all that I see and jump just to stay alive. I always heard about hustling to stay alive. I need a secondary eye to help me change my ways.
I don’t like this life. I did not choose it but it seems to have chosen me. They promised me that they will make me a star and make me the best of the best .I listened to them but for men are only concerned with benefits. I thought I listened with caution but clearly I was not .I did not realise that it was all cheap talk.my heart is sinking in the life I did not choose. Only you can help me dad…no one understands me better than you .you were my hope, my pillar of strengths. I got so lost in my sorrows in that I became foolish and I forgot how to live without depending on men. It’s driving me crazy in that I have forgotten how to live my life with a smile on my face .all I see is a lost cause.
I’m tired of living like a brainless person. I am taking a decision that I should have taken many years ago. I will move off the streets. They have done nothing good for me .Although I seem to be lost and all doors are shut for me, I will make you proud .I will be my daddy’s little girl again.
Written by nsizwa
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