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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Kids
- Theme: Family & Friends
- Subject: Childhood / Youth
- Published: 02/04/2022
Linda woke up to the sound of birds singing, like she always did. She got dressed and put on her glasses. She went down stairs, to get breakfast of course. She ate pancakes, then there she went. Now she was on her way to school, where she would see her friends. (THE END OF BOOK 1)
The best discovery(Zoey White) Linda woke up to the sound of birds singing, like she always did. She got dressed and put on her glasses. She went down stairs, to get breakfast of course. She ate pancakes, then there she went. Now she was on her way to school, where she would see her friends. (THE END OF BOOK 1)
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Kevin Hughes
02/07/2022Zoe,
Most of the folks who commented on your story are much older than you...and they pointed out that you can write a fuller richer story. The talent is there, the work is there too...because you started to think about what to write. So think a little more:
What kind of birds woke Linda? Why does she like the sound of birds? Who made the pancakes? Why does she wear glasses and not contacts? How many friends does she have at school...and why does she like them? Those are the kinds of things that connect a story to the reader.
Like JD, mentioned, the picture you chose would be a wonderful place to "make up a story" - which is called Fiction. What would that creatures name be? Where would it live? Why would it want to be around Humans? That is where the stories live, in imagination, in telling a bit about life through a story. So keep writing, and thinking...and don't be afraid to put your story out there for folks to read.
Smiles, Kevin
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Shelly Garrod
02/05/2022That is an adorable picture for your writing. You have a start Zoey. I would love to read more about Linda. Who is she? What type of person is she? Does she have adventures. Keep writing. I will be looking for your future story.
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Martha Hume
02/05/2022I think you deserve more than 2 stars so, I rewarded you with three stars. I hope to encourage you to write more.
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Martha Hume
02/05/2022I would like to hear more of the story. You could try adding more description and details. I feel you should write stories to us with the assumption we know nothing about your topic and you know everything. So please tell us everything you know.
Keep writing.
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JD
02/04/2022Zoey, this is NOT a 'book'. It is barely even a sentence. Hardly worth the time and effort for any reader to even open and view it. It you want others to take you seriously then you need to take your writing more seriously. Try writing an actual story. Seems like this is just the beginning of something, but it seems like a good beginning, so I hope you keep going and turn it into an actual story that readers can appreciate. Thanks.
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JD
02/04/2022P.S.... I love the creature in your picture. I'd love to read a short story about her/him/it.... looks like a girl because of the pink 'hair'. So cool and cute, whatever it is.
COMMENTS (6)