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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Adults
- Theme: Family & Friends
- Subject: Death / Heartbreak / Loss
- Published: 08/17/2021
Big Boys Don't Cry
Born 1954, M, from Schagen, NetherlandsBig Boys Don’t Cry
“Daddy, why did mommy say that big boys don’t cry? Sometimes I can’t help myself. If I’m hurt the tears just come without asking. I try not to let them come out, honestly but I can’t stop them. Why are girls allowed to cry and we’re not? I saw you crying last week when mommy was angry and she went for a walk. Did she also tell you that big boys shouldn’t cry? Why is it that if I make a girl cry, it’s my fault but if she makes me cry it’s also my fault? When I asked mommy, that was when she said that about big boys not crying. I don’t understand it. Won’t I ever become a man if I cry?”
James looked at his son and put his arm around his shoulders pulling him towards him until his head lay on his chest. Parents don’t want their children to suffer but life can be cruel. Very soon he will have to tell his son that his mother’s not coming back. But how can you explain that? If the parent in question dies the explanation is simple. One creates a fairy tale world where mommy or daddy is no longer in pain and where she or he can sit in their comfy chair and look down on the people they loved. Yes there will be sadness and rebelliousness and non-acceptance but, regardless of how we view it, death is an inevitable fact, an ending, a border, a place of no return. “Oh God, Why hadn’t she just died?”
He kissed the top of his son’s head and stroked his back feeling the vulnerability of this small child and realizing that he couldn’t prevent this little chap from learning the terrible truth. His son would suffer and he in turn would suffer by seeing it. He suddenly realized that despite all his years of education the real lessons can only be learnt by living.
The past six months had been a terrible strain on the whole family. Finally, a fortnight ago, his wife of ten years admitted to having fallen in love with a man she’d met on a company course. Within a week she’d filed for divorce, packed her bags and moved out. Her parting words were: “you must tell Tommy, I can’t”.
This afternoon he’d picked up his son, who had been having a whale of a time during a week’s holiday with his grandparents on the east coast. Driving back home his mind was a turmoil thinking of how he could break the news. Fortunately Tommy was so full of his holiday that he talked almost non-stop explaining, in detail, everything they’d done. He had seemed satisfied with this father’s explanation of where his mother was: “had to go away for a couple of days, something important at work.” This was the first time he had ever lied to his son. And now here they were, bathed and ready for bed and Tommy had asked his question.
Choosing his words carefully as if they were fragile pieces of China, he explained to Tommy that from now on there would just be the two of them and that mommy had found a new place to live. She still loved him very much and she would like him to come and stay with her every weekend. He was a lucky fellow as he would have two bedrooms. It would be like a holiday at his grandparents but then every week.
Tommy listened quietly and looked at him with an expression that broke his heart. The love he felt for his son was overshadowed by the hatred he was feeling for his wife and what she’d done. However, he also realized that Tommy was his priority and that the coming weeks, maybe even months, would be crucial for all of them.
Tommy asked a few questions and James supplied him with the answers he thought would be helpful. After a while he went to get his son a bedtime drink while Tommy curled up with his favorite cuddly toy and watched an episode of Ask The Story Bots.
In the kitchen James prepared his son’s cocoa and a cup of tea for himself. Looking down he saw that he’d unintentionally taken out two cups from the cupboard. That was when he felt his throat constricting and, try as he might to prevent it, the tears rolled down his face, silently but unstoppable.
He stood paralyzed for a few minutes holding on to the kitchen unit until he suddenly felt two small arms wrap themselves around his lower legs. “Don’t worry daddy. I won’t tell mommy. Big boys can also cry.”
Big Boys Don't Cry(David Mahoney)
Big Boys Don’t Cry
“Daddy, why did mommy say that big boys don’t cry? Sometimes I can’t help myself. If I’m hurt the tears just come without asking. I try not to let them come out, honestly but I can’t stop them. Why are girls allowed to cry and we’re not? I saw you crying last week when mommy was angry and she went for a walk. Did she also tell you that big boys shouldn’t cry? Why is it that if I make a girl cry, it’s my fault but if she makes me cry it’s also my fault? When I asked mommy, that was when she said that about big boys not crying. I don’t understand it. Won’t I ever become a man if I cry?”
James looked at his son and put his arm around his shoulders pulling him towards him until his head lay on his chest. Parents don’t want their children to suffer but life can be cruel. Very soon he will have to tell his son that his mother’s not coming back. But how can you explain that? If the parent in question dies the explanation is simple. One creates a fairy tale world where mommy or daddy is no longer in pain and where she or he can sit in their comfy chair and look down on the people they loved. Yes there will be sadness and rebelliousness and non-acceptance but, regardless of how we view it, death is an inevitable fact, an ending, a border, a place of no return. “Oh God, Why hadn’t she just died?”
He kissed the top of his son’s head and stroked his back feeling the vulnerability of this small child and realizing that he couldn’t prevent this little chap from learning the terrible truth. His son would suffer and he in turn would suffer by seeing it. He suddenly realized that despite all his years of education the real lessons can only be learnt by living.
The past six months had been a terrible strain on the whole family. Finally, a fortnight ago, his wife of ten years admitted to having fallen in love with a man she’d met on a company course. Within a week she’d filed for divorce, packed her bags and moved out. Her parting words were: “you must tell Tommy, I can’t”.
This afternoon he’d picked up his son, who had been having a whale of a time during a week’s holiday with his grandparents on the east coast. Driving back home his mind was a turmoil thinking of how he could break the news. Fortunately Tommy was so full of his holiday that he talked almost non-stop explaining, in detail, everything they’d done. He had seemed satisfied with this father’s explanation of where his mother was: “had to go away for a couple of days, something important at work.” This was the first time he had ever lied to his son. And now here they were, bathed and ready for bed and Tommy had asked his question.
Choosing his words carefully as if they were fragile pieces of China, he explained to Tommy that from now on there would just be the two of them and that mommy had found a new place to live. She still loved him very much and she would like him to come and stay with her every weekend. He was a lucky fellow as he would have two bedrooms. It would be like a holiday at his grandparents but then every week.
Tommy listened quietly and looked at him with an expression that broke his heart. The love he felt for his son was overshadowed by the hatred he was feeling for his wife and what she’d done. However, he also realized that Tommy was his priority and that the coming weeks, maybe even months, would be crucial for all of them.
Tommy asked a few questions and James supplied him with the answers he thought would be helpful. After a while he went to get his son a bedtime drink while Tommy curled up with his favorite cuddly toy and watched an episode of Ask The Story Bots.
In the kitchen James prepared his son’s cocoa and a cup of tea for himself. Looking down he saw that he’d unintentionally taken out two cups from the cupboard. That was when he felt his throat constricting and, try as he might to prevent it, the tears rolled down his face, silently but unstoppable.
He stood paralyzed for a few minutes holding on to the kitchen unit until he suddenly felt two small arms wrap themselves around his lower legs. “Don’t worry daddy. I won’t tell mommy. Big boys can also cry.”
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- 10
Kristin Dockar
10/08/2022A very insightful story. Big boys can cry. It makes them better humans!!
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
David Mahoney
10/09/2022I couldn't agree more Kristin. it's a pity some of our male leaders don't cry more often.
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Valerie Allen
10/08/2022A well written sad story. You captured the deep emotions of father and son in a realistic manner. Good job!
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Gerald R Gioglio
10/08/2022Tough stuff, dawg...and an all too familiar scenario. Congrats on StoryStar day. We'll deserved. jg
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Shirley Smothers
10/08/2022A bittersweet story. Well told, and softend for the childs point of view. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Lillian Kazmierczak
10/07/2022This was such a bittersweet story. Trying to be strong when your heart is breaking is so hard. What beautiful writing of an emotional situation. Congratulations on short story star of the day!
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
David Mahoney
10/08/2022Totally unexpected Lillian. Thank you very much. Such comments as yours keep me motivated to keep writing.
COMMENTS (8)