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- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Survival / Success
- Subject: Life Changing Decisions/Events
- Published: 07/03/2021
WAKING FROM INFINITY
Born 1947, M, from Zurich, SwitzerlandLike all patients before their major surgical operation, I asked the question where will I go if the operation is not a success? The fears of not coming back to ‘my’ life are overwhelming. One also realizes that if it all goes wrong I will never know, it’s those left behind who will suffer more than me.
Some patients might be comforted by dreams of Heaven, but that depends upon their experiences before in life. Those in war and in suffering would certainly want to go to a better place, but how do we in peaceful, wealthy countries know that we will go there? To feel that it is ‘my right to go to Heaven’ is one of the perfect myths of many of our societies and all of our egos!
I am lying on a table as preparatory staff go about their work. Hair is shaved from the body in the regions of surgery. The staff are quite chatty, and quite quickly I was informed that they will give me a mild narcose so that the staff can go on with their preparations. After that I knew nothing!
Then there was the waking up from the full anesthetic, from infinity! My senses were whirling, they certainly do not come back all at once. With head spinning, eyes unfocused and ears yawning, one undergoes the re-dimensional journey!
The fears from before are now not realized – I am not dead, but I don’t know where I am.
I do realize that there are no choirs singing -- welcoming me to Heaven, the place of infinite peace. There are no groans and screams as suggested in some descriptions of Hell. Maybe the rustling and whispering that I can hear is what happens in Purgatory!
The intensive care station has several new customers who are in different states of confusion and grogginess. We are minutely looked after by invisible competent hands - our wounds, our bodily fluids, our air supply, and our pains. My mind spins between all combinations of fear and joy. I realize now that it is the intensive care staff who are responsible for the rustling and whispering, so I can’t yet tell you what Purgatory is like!
The noises during waking, groans, cries, also the gossip among the care teams - who have rapidly built up pictures of the waking patients and discuss this among themselves. Some intensive carers seem to have forgotten that wake up times are quite variable and that some sleepers are tuning into their conversations. I cannot report these here!
Despite what the surgeon has just told of an operation with ‘great success’, the fear is that the repairs will all fall apart - like our machines and automobiles.
Although I was informed before that the operation needed to invade into several mainstays of the body functions, one has no idea of the re-dimensionalization! After the surgery these functions must be reinstated - and at the beginning one does not realize that coughing, headaches, and pains of the wounds are just the beginning.
If recovery in intensive care is fast then one is rapidly disconnected from the tubes and wires. Some patients need to stay more than one day in intensive care, and their waking minds must certainly be asking about the meaning of ‘souls’.
The following recovery days are systematic functional testing and blood sampling every few hours, including through the night. My mind must also adjust to helping the body recover and not think to ‘fast forward’ - trying to insert the more glorious days of our past life into models for the future.
After most major surgery most patients need several weeks just to return to a stable bodily status, but this is far less than the bouncing bundles that we once were! The overall recovery will take months and our body may never be at full status. If one is lucky enough to go to a ‘rehabilitation’ or care clinic, there is a full program designed to slowly restore out abilities. The medical staff and teams are all focused on getting the patients well again. Many clinics are run like hotels so we are grateful for all of the daily things being done for us.
I realize that this story refers to the privileged and wealthy world. The majority of poor souls who die in poverty, in war, pandemics and natural disasters are the ones who deserve to go to Heaven. And of course our families and friends - those who suffered with/for us, through our sicknesses and recovery, are the ones who also need rest and care!
WAKING FROM INFINITY(Alan Bruce)
Like all patients before their major surgical operation, I asked the question where will I go if the operation is not a success? The fears of not coming back to ‘my’ life are overwhelming. One also realizes that if it all goes wrong I will never know, it’s those left behind who will suffer more than me.
Some patients might be comforted by dreams of Heaven, but that depends upon their experiences before in life. Those in war and in suffering would certainly want to go to a better place, but how do we in peaceful, wealthy countries know that we will go there? To feel that it is ‘my right to go to Heaven’ is one of the perfect myths of many of our societies and all of our egos!
I am lying on a table as preparatory staff go about their work. Hair is shaved from the body in the regions of surgery. The staff are quite chatty, and quite quickly I was informed that they will give me a mild narcose so that the staff can go on with their preparations. After that I knew nothing!
Then there was the waking up from the full anesthetic, from infinity! My senses were whirling, they certainly do not come back all at once. With head spinning, eyes unfocused and ears yawning, one undergoes the re-dimensional journey!
The fears from before are now not realized – I am not dead, but I don’t know where I am.
I do realize that there are no choirs singing -- welcoming me to Heaven, the place of infinite peace. There are no groans and screams as suggested in some descriptions of Hell. Maybe the rustling and whispering that I can hear is what happens in Purgatory!
The intensive care station has several new customers who are in different states of confusion and grogginess. We are minutely looked after by invisible competent hands - our wounds, our bodily fluids, our air supply, and our pains. My mind spins between all combinations of fear and joy. I realize now that it is the intensive care staff who are responsible for the rustling and whispering, so I can’t yet tell you what Purgatory is like!
The noises during waking, groans, cries, also the gossip among the care teams - who have rapidly built up pictures of the waking patients and discuss this among themselves. Some intensive carers seem to have forgotten that wake up times are quite variable and that some sleepers are tuning into their conversations. I cannot report these here!
Despite what the surgeon has just told of an operation with ‘great success’, the fear is that the repairs will all fall apart - like our machines and automobiles.
Although I was informed before that the operation needed to invade into several mainstays of the body functions, one has no idea of the re-dimensionalization! After the surgery these functions must be reinstated - and at the beginning one does not realize that coughing, headaches, and pains of the wounds are just the beginning.
If recovery in intensive care is fast then one is rapidly disconnected from the tubes and wires. Some patients need to stay more than one day in intensive care, and their waking minds must certainly be asking about the meaning of ‘souls’.
The following recovery days are systematic functional testing and blood sampling every few hours, including through the night. My mind must also adjust to helping the body recover and not think to ‘fast forward’ - trying to insert the more glorious days of our past life into models for the future.
After most major surgery most patients need several weeks just to return to a stable bodily status, but this is far less than the bouncing bundles that we once were! The overall recovery will take months and our body may never be at full status. If one is lucky enough to go to a ‘rehabilitation’ or care clinic, there is a full program designed to slowly restore out abilities. The medical staff and teams are all focused on getting the patients well again. Many clinics are run like hotels so we are grateful for all of the daily things being done for us.
I realize that this story refers to the privileged and wealthy world. The majority of poor souls who die in poverty, in war, pandemics and natural disasters are the ones who deserve to go to Heaven. And of course our families and friends - those who suffered with/for us, through our sicknesses and recovery, are the ones who also need rest and care!
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Shirley Harrison
07/27/2021This made my heart race, not so long ago I had my own experience. I truly thank you for sharing this. So glad you are here to share with Storystar.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Gail Moore
07/26/2021Fantastic story Alan. Well written. You had an awesome story to tell.
It's always an interesting subject. :-)
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
JD
07/03/2021Congratulations on your waking from infinity and your recovery in the land of the living, Alan! I'm happy to discover that your major surgery has not affected your ability to write. You have beautifully described your experience and taken us all on this journey with you. I hope your full recovery is swift and soon. Thank you for sharing your true life story with us.
ReplyHelp Us Understand What's Happening
Help Us Understand What's Happening
JD
07/26/2021Happy short story STAR of the week, Alan! Hope you're beginning to feel 'restored' and a little better every day.... :-)
Help Us Understand What's Happening
Mano Olivera
07/03/2021Thank you, Alan!! Gracias por escribir y compartir historias como estas. Un abrazo!!!
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COMMENTS (4)