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- Story Listed as: True Life For Adults
- Theme: Family & Friends
- Subject: Friends / Friendship
- Published: 11/26/2020
Happy Thanksgiving.
Born 1951, M, from Wilmington NC, United StatesAuthor's Note: Like many others, I won't be sitting down with friends and family today. Even tho my kids and grandkids live just a fifteen minute walk from where I live. But we did cook together over the phone...and we will drop off things on each other's porches...staying Socially Distant and wearing masks. We will have to eat alone, but not lonely. I read an article last night...and here are my thoughts about it. I hope it helps if you have to stay away from family and friends today.
*****
Aloha All,
Way back in my Army Days, we were told to “fake till we make it.” If we were tired, or exhausted, we were told to act as if we wanted to do even more:
“One more mile First Sergeant! One more push up Sarge.” Or even: “One mile, two mile, three miles…don’t stop now. Go. Go. Go!” And we would. Until…well, we couldn’t go one more mile.
Last night I was reading an Article about how it is a bad idea to pretend you are happy, when you are not. It seems that it is better to “let the bad times roll” than to fake enthusiasm or an upbeat mood. The Article went on to say that it is much better to be grateful than happy. Because being grateful can happen in any mood. You can be pissed off because you can’t see family, your health is at risk, or you can’t go any damn place- and still be grateful that you are alive, have food, and a roof over your head.
You can be grateful that you do have people you miss and would have liked to have dinner with today. You can be grateful that no big storms are ravishing our coast lines. You can be grateful for a million little things…like the cup of tea I am drinking right now. Or the fact that I made Kathy her coffee and added just a dab of Promised Land Chocolate milk to it ( Sorry Bruce, but that brand is still available here in NC). She smiled gratefully. Once she finishes that first cup of Coffee she turns into a whirlwind of activity.
Balancing checkbooks, paying bills, doing her very difficult thirty minute ride on the stationary bike, getting things ready to drop off for the Grandkids (while wearing a mask and staying a safe Social Distance away). She is a whirling dervish after her morning coffee. She gets things done…and I am thankful for that. We make a good team, because she can do most of the things I can’t…like pay attention. LOL
The Article also said that you can take simple steps today to make it a better day, and maybe warm your mood up North of melancholy. So what did the article recommend?
1) No TV…unless you are a Sports fan. Don’t even watch your regular TV Shows. Absolutely no News Channels. Surprisingly (at least for me) is that you aren’t supposed to watch the Weather either. Why? Because the Lady who wrote the Article says that watching the Weather: “Gets you thinking about tomorrow, or the future, or what might happen later.” Apparently, it is much better to stay in the NOW. Watching the Weather can subtly prime your mind to think about “what if’s” and get you thinking about stressful things that are coming up later in your life. I thought that was interesting.
2) Don’t think about the people you are missing…call them! Zoom, FACETIME, Text, whatever…just a quick: “Hey how you doing? We have so much left over turkey it will be leftovers until Passover. “ Okay, bad joke but I like the alliteration.
3) Walk. Outside. If you can. This one I follow religiously anyway. Basically the Lady who wrote the article said that one thing all Shrinks and Scientists who study mood say, is this: “moving around helps fight off depression, anxiety, and fatigue.” Yep, you can actually feel less tired by moving around! Walking is by far the most highly recommended activity. Outdoors seems to offer even more benefits - so if the weather allows, or you have the gear to combat the weather…go for a stroll. And be Thankful. LOL
4) Music. Yep. Music is a pretty doggone good way to help smooth out your day. Not upbeat perky heavy beat music (unless that is the mood you are in…then go ahead: dance the night away!) But music that fits your mood. Ballads for some, Jazz for others, Golden Oldies for others. The Article claimed that instrumental music, like Classical or Jazz, or Easy Listening, is best if you are not feeling your best. I think they are right about that.
Right now, as I am typing this, “It’s a Summer Place” popped into my head. Both the Letterman version (with words) and the Percy Sledge Orchestra Version (purely instrumental) came into my mind and are playing in my memory. Wow. That is leading to a very pleasant feeling as old memories bubble to the surface…and my mood is lifted a bit. I am thankful for that too.
5) Cook. My friend Gayle is going to love this tidbit. She could be a doggone Chef. Although she tells me a Bistro would be better, because Chef’s don’t get to cook a lot…they have to supervise and buy stuff. Her Zen is the cooking and watching people she likes (or loves) devouring her meals with delight. But I digress…
According to the Article, preparing, cooking, and eating together is the absolute best way to enjoy a dinner…and doing the clean up together too. Even if it is only you and your partner. If you have kids, they say to have them set the table, or stir things that need stirring, and chew slowly when you do eat…savor both the flavors and the day!
6) Prayer. I am not big on this one, but in my own way, I do pray. Whether it is to a God, the Universe, or some other thing bigger than yourself, it appears that taking time to pray a prayer of gratitude and thankfulness is a good help, even if you are alone.
This last point in the article I especially thought was very important: no guilt today. None. If you want to eat the whole pie yourself (since you can’t share it with family anyway) do so. Don’t pretend you don’t want a second piece of pie…go ahead, eat another slice. Just don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t feel guilty that you have food to eat, or your health, or any other thing that other folks might not have today.
The article says to let that angst over things you can’t control …let it go. You do have a pie to eat. Enjoy it. Especially if you made it, baked it, and now are waiting for it to cool down. Well, that’s crap…who lets a pie cool down? LOL It smells to good, just like when Mom made cookies…the oven door opens, and the kids magically appear. Flipping steaming hot cookies from hand to hand until they are cool enough to eat…but still way warm. Yep.
I guess in a way, the article was just saying to appreciate the day…because you have it. And if you are a bit down, that’s okay. You don’t have to pretend that the Holiday isn’t as messed up as it is. Take gratitude as your guide…and if you get happy later in the day…that’s fine. If you don’t, you will know that at least you were thankful nobody came over to see you sulk. LOL
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Smiles, Kevin
Happy Thanksgiving.(Kevin Hughes)
Author's Note: Like many others, I won't be sitting down with friends and family today. Even tho my kids and grandkids live just a fifteen minute walk from where I live. But we did cook together over the phone...and we will drop off things on each other's porches...staying Socially Distant and wearing masks. We will have to eat alone, but not lonely. I read an article last night...and here are my thoughts about it. I hope it helps if you have to stay away from family and friends today.
*****
Aloha All,
Way back in my Army Days, we were told to “fake till we make it.” If we were tired, or exhausted, we were told to act as if we wanted to do even more:
“One more mile First Sergeant! One more push up Sarge.” Or even: “One mile, two mile, three miles…don’t stop now. Go. Go. Go!” And we would. Until…well, we couldn’t go one more mile.
Last night I was reading an Article about how it is a bad idea to pretend you are happy, when you are not. It seems that it is better to “let the bad times roll” than to fake enthusiasm or an upbeat mood. The Article went on to say that it is much better to be grateful than happy. Because being grateful can happen in any mood. You can be pissed off because you can’t see family, your health is at risk, or you can’t go any damn place- and still be grateful that you are alive, have food, and a roof over your head.
You can be grateful that you do have people you miss and would have liked to have dinner with today. You can be grateful that no big storms are ravishing our coast lines. You can be grateful for a million little things…like the cup of tea I am drinking right now. Or the fact that I made Kathy her coffee and added just a dab of Promised Land Chocolate milk to it ( Sorry Bruce, but that brand is still available here in NC). She smiled gratefully. Once she finishes that first cup of Coffee she turns into a whirlwind of activity.
Balancing checkbooks, paying bills, doing her very difficult thirty minute ride on the stationary bike, getting things ready to drop off for the Grandkids (while wearing a mask and staying a safe Social Distance away). She is a whirling dervish after her morning coffee. She gets things done…and I am thankful for that. We make a good team, because she can do most of the things I can’t…like pay attention. LOL
The Article also said that you can take simple steps today to make it a better day, and maybe warm your mood up North of melancholy. So what did the article recommend?
1) No TV…unless you are a Sports fan. Don’t even watch your regular TV Shows. Absolutely no News Channels. Surprisingly (at least for me) is that you aren’t supposed to watch the Weather either. Why? Because the Lady who wrote the Article says that watching the Weather: “Gets you thinking about tomorrow, or the future, or what might happen later.” Apparently, it is much better to stay in the NOW. Watching the Weather can subtly prime your mind to think about “what if’s” and get you thinking about stressful things that are coming up later in your life. I thought that was interesting.
2) Don’t think about the people you are missing…call them! Zoom, FACETIME, Text, whatever…just a quick: “Hey how you doing? We have so much left over turkey it will be leftovers until Passover. “ Okay, bad joke but I like the alliteration.
3) Walk. Outside. If you can. This one I follow religiously anyway. Basically the Lady who wrote the article said that one thing all Shrinks and Scientists who study mood say, is this: “moving around helps fight off depression, anxiety, and fatigue.” Yep, you can actually feel less tired by moving around! Walking is by far the most highly recommended activity. Outdoors seems to offer even more benefits - so if the weather allows, or you have the gear to combat the weather…go for a stroll. And be Thankful. LOL
4) Music. Yep. Music is a pretty doggone good way to help smooth out your day. Not upbeat perky heavy beat music (unless that is the mood you are in…then go ahead: dance the night away!) But music that fits your mood. Ballads for some, Jazz for others, Golden Oldies for others. The Article claimed that instrumental music, like Classical or Jazz, or Easy Listening, is best if you are not feeling your best. I think they are right about that.
Right now, as I am typing this, “It’s a Summer Place” popped into my head. Both the Letterman version (with words) and the Percy Sledge Orchestra Version (purely instrumental) came into my mind and are playing in my memory. Wow. That is leading to a very pleasant feeling as old memories bubble to the surface…and my mood is lifted a bit. I am thankful for that too.
5) Cook. My friend Gayle is going to love this tidbit. She could be a doggone Chef. Although she tells me a Bistro would be better, because Chef’s don’t get to cook a lot…they have to supervise and buy stuff. Her Zen is the cooking and watching people she likes (or loves) devouring her meals with delight. But I digress…
According to the Article, preparing, cooking, and eating together is the absolute best way to enjoy a dinner…and doing the clean up together too. Even if it is only you and your partner. If you have kids, they say to have them set the table, or stir things that need stirring, and chew slowly when you do eat…savor both the flavors and the day!
6) Prayer. I am not big on this one, but in my own way, I do pray. Whether it is to a God, the Universe, or some other thing bigger than yourself, it appears that taking time to pray a prayer of gratitude and thankfulness is a good help, even if you are alone.
This last point in the article I especially thought was very important: no guilt today. None. If you want to eat the whole pie yourself (since you can’t share it with family anyway) do so. Don’t pretend you don’t want a second piece of pie…go ahead, eat another slice. Just don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t feel guilty that you have food to eat, or your health, or any other thing that other folks might not have today.
The article says to let that angst over things you can’t control …let it go. You do have a pie to eat. Enjoy it. Especially if you made it, baked it, and now are waiting for it to cool down. Well, that’s crap…who lets a pie cool down? LOL It smells to good, just like when Mom made cookies…the oven door opens, and the kids magically appear. Flipping steaming hot cookies from hand to hand until they are cool enough to eat…but still way warm. Yep.
I guess in a way, the article was just saying to appreciate the day…because you have it. And if you are a bit down, that’s okay. You don’t have to pretend that the Holiday isn’t as messed up as it is. Take gratitude as your guide…and if you get happy later in the day…that’s fine. If you don’t, you will know that at least you were thankful nobody came over to see you sulk. LOL
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Smiles, Kevin
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Kevin Hughes
11/26/2020Happy Thanksgiving back at you! We are stuffed...maybe we are part turkey?
Smiles, Kevin
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