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- Story Listed as: Fiction For Teens
- Theme: Family & Friends
- Subject: Family
- Published: 10/19/2017
The Diary
Born 1999, M, from Chennai, India"Variety is the spice of life”, a famous idiom. I was pondering about the in-depth meaning that lies in that statement, as I was travelling in car with mom, who has come to send me off at the railway station. Variety represents the different hurdles and emotions that we have to face in life. Spice implies that those hurdles and emotions make our life meaningful. After a few more minutes of trying to understand the idiom, we arrived at the railway station. If there is one thing which is very difficult to do in life, I would say it is waving good bye to our loved ones, how ever short the separation might be, a separation is still a separation. I was standing there with luggages in my hand, trying to understand the feelings my mom was having at that moment. However, I could not understand them, it has always been very abstruse to understand her. Finally, I hugged her and waved her a good bye. Before letting me go, she handed me a diary and told me it was my dad’s. I didn’t like the look she had in her face, she was like it was the last time she is going to see me. However, keeping my thoughts aside, I took the diary and boarded the train. It’s a long journey of almost one and a half days, and I have never been comfortable enough to sleep in the train. The noise of the rails, the engine, the uncomfortable sleeping positions all bothered me. After realizing that it is obviously going to be a sleepless night for me, I took out the diary my mom gave me and started to read it, hoping it could get me some sleep.
“Dear Annie,
This is your father, trying to convey some of your life incidents which I think you should be aware of. I have no idea whether you will get to read this diary or not, but if you do, please make sure you read till the last page of it.
When I married your mother, I made her a promise that the only girl I would ever love after her will be our daughter. Well, you may think, what if I got a boy, but now my statement is justified as I got a wonderful daughter…you……You wouldn’t know much about me, and there is really nothing much, I was just a daily wage worker, got 25Rs as a salary for working 14-15 hours a day. I was not even able to provide food for our family 2 times a day. There are days where we did not eat at all. As the situation got worse, your mother also started to work in a construction site and our daily income was raised to 50RS including the 25RS of your mother. It was just fine until you were ready to go to school. Paying school fees was the most arduous task for us. We were able to pay your fees only if me and your mother ate in alternative days so that some money can be saved. We know that we were in a worse situation, but you were as cute as a doll and when we looked at you, our pain and irritation flied away. Then we made a oath that we will educate you to the core and give you a happy life. We both did whatever we were able to do. BY god’s grace you were good at studies (I have no idea from where you got that gene though) and it made us more energetic.
Reading the diary for a while made me feel sleepy; I closed the diary and started to sleep. The next morning, the ritual of brushing the teeth without brushing (that’s what we do in trains) was finished by me. I got a samosa to eat and was feeling really tired though I did not do any work. My mind was wandering and finally stopped at the diary. I really had no idea how my parents stressed themselves to bring me up nor had I really bothered to ask. I always got what I wanted and I guess they sacrificed their needs to satisfy mine. I was not really close to my father nor my mother because neither of them would be at home early before I fell asleep.
Again boredom started and I started to read the diary to know about my parent’s, at least now rather than never.
Your mother had only two wishes in her life Annie…
One is to live with us forever and another was to board a train before her death. She never went in train because of our family situation, and I did promise her that I would surely get to board her on a train. But I was not able to satisfy her both wishes as you know……….
At this point, I closed the diary for a moment and thought of my mom’s wish. To me at this stage, I would say that it was a crazy wish but for her it was like a dream hoping to come true. And yes, I do know why my father was not able to fulfill both of her wishes. I did not know what happened to me but I lost the mood to read the diary. SO I just started looking at the window and fell asleep.
MY train arrived at the Chennai station and my husband was there to pick me up. "How was your travel last night?" he asked, I muttered it could have been better. “Well, we humans are never really happy with what we have.” I don’t know how that sentence actually suited in this situation but I was in no mood to argue so I just went along with him.
The reason I was returning from my mom’s place to Chennai was because my doctor called me urgently. I have a habit of doing health checkups every six months. But this time, I did it within 3 months because I was suffering a lot of vomiting, sleep problems, fatigue and weakness. When I asked my doctor what was it about, She was not ready to tell it on phone. She asked me to come over and that’s why I am here now.
“Come in”, my doctor said as I got to her room. When I asked for what she asked me to come very urgently, she was hesitating for some time and finally blurted out that I have a kidney failure. Well, I could not really believe it so I tried to rewind my life a few seconds and passed and stressed on the word KIDNEY FAILURE. My doctor continued that if I have to take dialysis on this age, well it is a less chance I would even survive and she stressed that I need a kidney transplant right away.
I had no idea what I was about to do, neither my husband. Doctor said that my blood group kidney would suit best for me. And for now, the only blood group related person for me is my mother. I was lost in thought of imagining how I am going to tell my mother about this. I returned home all the way thinking of my current situation.
Deep down, somewhere, I had a feeling that mother would definitely help me out in this situation, but I had no idea what effect it would do on her health. I washed my face and had a cup of tea. More than asking my mother for a kidney, I was worried of opening this issue to her, this may break her down. Well, anyway one day or the other she will come to know this.
I wish I could have been there with you… but I can't… I don’t know what is the reason for me to stay alive in this place, when I can't meet you two. But neither can I die because I love each and every moment when I think about our times together.
Have you informed your mother about this? My husband distracted me from reading the diary. I replied a flat NO with irritation. He told me to do it as soon as possible. This is not something we can share in phone. I want to tell her in person. So the very next day, I again travelled to my mother’s place in train. When I entered the house, the door was open, fan was running in the hall, and there my mother was sleeping with her mouth open. I had never seen her do this. From my young age, she has insisted me not to sleep with my mouth open. This was the time I realized that maybe older people turn very old, but also very young. I did not want to disturb her, so I just went on with my unpacking.
She got up after an hour, she was bit surprised to see me. She asked what was the reason I am here now. I said nothing as I don’t want to just spill the reason of my visit to her. Asking her for a kidney like asking a pen to borrow would be a crazy idea. It was dinner time and after I finished eating the dinner, I sat down with my mother and explained about my illness briefly to her. She was already in tears and I was holding her hand. All she did was cry and cry without saying anything. After sometime she calmed down. I told her that if she would lend me a kidney, I will become alright again. "I wish I could, but I can't”, my mother said. Well, I was not really expecting this answer from her. I expected something like Yes of course or Yes it is my pleasure, etc….. Hearing this, I could not actually believe what I have heard. MY mother refusing to donate a kidney to me so I can be alive??!
I had lot of questions and confusions in my mind and I acted rather aggressively towards her. I threw the tv remote which was placed beside me and kicked the sofa in frustration, though nothing was caused to me other than pain in my leg. I Went into my room and locked the door and started to calm myself down. Thinking that my best hope of getting the kidney from my mother was not on the table now, I felt really scared.
The next day, my mother asked me to take her to hospital for her checkup though she did not mention why she wanted to go. I was still very angry with her and had not spoken a word with her since I locked myself up in the room. But also I just can’t let her alone when I am here, so I took her to the hospital. She asked me to stay out. I did. I had no idea how many check ups she was doing, but I was sitting there for more than an hour and I had no news from her. I was really irritated. Finally, she came and I asked her what was she doing for a very long time. She said nothing, just normal check up. I knew that she was hiding something from me, but at that moment, I did not bother to find it out.
AT home my mother was soon asleep, while her mobile rang. She was sleeping, so I took the phone to answer. It was her doctor. She asked for my mother, while I said she was asleep and I am her daughter. She said “ok fine, I hope you convey this message to your mother. I know your family is having a hard time there, but as a doctor I can't hide the truth, your mothers cancer can’t be cured. She may not live long. Sorry for your loss, get her to call me when she is free”.
That phone call was a lot shocking. The word CANCER struck me like thunder. I went like a paralyzed person, not able to move nor do anything. I did not know what to do, cry, shout, or what else???? And now I understood that why she can’t give me a kidney. Well no cancer patients could. She was hiding this from me for a long time. She wants me to be happy and still she was sacrificing herself for my happiness. I felt a lot ashamed for the way I reacted towards her. I should have asked the reason or at least tried to find out why she went to hospital. But I did nothing. And now I feel like a lost child in woods with no one to accompany.
While I was thinking about it, I remembered the diary where my father mentioned her last wish. So I started reading the last page alone as I didn’t know how long my mother had before ending her life. Though, I should think of curing her, to me at this stage, I thought fulfilling her last wish would be more practical than trying to cure the cancer which has very little probability to be cured. SO I started to read the last page of diary as my father said, since I was eager to know my mothers last wish.
Annie, she doesn’t want you to take her to a 5 star hotel nor to America. All she wishes is to travel in a train before her life ends…….She was always more keen on your happiness than mine. In fact, THE ONLY MOMENT YOUR MOTHER LAUGHED WHEN YOU CRIED, WAS THE MOMENT SHE WAS HOLDING YOU IN HER HAND AS A NEW BORN BABY. I hope you fulfill her wish annie……even if you don’t, she will keep you happy till her last breath… but after reading this diary, if you ever have a thought that you should repay some of the happiness to your mom, well, don’t think of building her a palace or a temple. Just take her on a train trip………This way, you fulfill both of your parent’s wishes……
Love
DAD
The least and the most I could do at this situation was to take my mother on a train. So the next day, I told my mother we are going to Chennai. She asked how? I said by train. That’s when I saw a great smile on her face after a very long time. Though she never mentioned this wish of hers to me, I can see the glowing happiness in her eyes.
We boarded the train. She sat on a window seat and started admiring the view. The whole time she was in the train, she loved to hear the sound of tracks and the view of greenery which is present outside the train while we pass. She had not spoken much after we boarded the train, but she did let out a huge smile seeing me. I was happy to see the smiling face of her.
When night arrived, she gave me a good night kiss on my forehead and said "you have fulfilled by last wish annie. Love you." With that, she went to sleep. But this sleep of hers was rather very long and endless and it was her last sleep. Yeah, my mother never got up the next morning………she was sleeping for a very long time. All I could do was cry. She never told me about her illness. My father’s statement had come true, she kept me happy till her last breath.
A Few Weeks later,
My fight to survive was over and I finally got a kidney transplant. I was now sitting in the hospital. Now again, I had to think about the same idiom, “Variety is the spice of life”. Within a span of few months, I had experienced lots of hurdles and emotions. This is when I realized the beauty of the statement, the beauty of life, the beauty of my parents. Beside me, was my fathers diary. The only thing I can keep on remembrance of my parents.
The Diary(Vaibhav)
"Variety is the spice of life”, a famous idiom. I was pondering about the in-depth meaning that lies in that statement, as I was travelling in car with mom, who has come to send me off at the railway station. Variety represents the different hurdles and emotions that we have to face in life. Spice implies that those hurdles and emotions make our life meaningful. After a few more minutes of trying to understand the idiom, we arrived at the railway station. If there is one thing which is very difficult to do in life, I would say it is waving good bye to our loved ones, how ever short the separation might be, a separation is still a separation. I was standing there with luggages in my hand, trying to understand the feelings my mom was having at that moment. However, I could not understand them, it has always been very abstruse to understand her. Finally, I hugged her and waved her a good bye. Before letting me go, she handed me a diary and told me it was my dad’s. I didn’t like the look she had in her face, she was like it was the last time she is going to see me. However, keeping my thoughts aside, I took the diary and boarded the train. It’s a long journey of almost one and a half days, and I have never been comfortable enough to sleep in the train. The noise of the rails, the engine, the uncomfortable sleeping positions all bothered me. After realizing that it is obviously going to be a sleepless night for me, I took out the diary my mom gave me and started to read it, hoping it could get me some sleep.
“Dear Annie,
This is your father, trying to convey some of your life incidents which I think you should be aware of. I have no idea whether you will get to read this diary or not, but if you do, please make sure you read till the last page of it.
When I married your mother, I made her a promise that the only girl I would ever love after her will be our daughter. Well, you may think, what if I got a boy, but now my statement is justified as I got a wonderful daughter…you……You wouldn’t know much about me, and there is really nothing much, I was just a daily wage worker, got 25Rs as a salary for working 14-15 hours a day. I was not even able to provide food for our family 2 times a day. There are days where we did not eat at all. As the situation got worse, your mother also started to work in a construction site and our daily income was raised to 50RS including the 25RS of your mother. It was just fine until you were ready to go to school. Paying school fees was the most arduous task for us. We were able to pay your fees only if me and your mother ate in alternative days so that some money can be saved. We know that we were in a worse situation, but you were as cute as a doll and when we looked at you, our pain and irritation flied away. Then we made a oath that we will educate you to the core and give you a happy life. We both did whatever we were able to do. BY god’s grace you were good at studies (I have no idea from where you got that gene though) and it made us more energetic.
Reading the diary for a while made me feel sleepy; I closed the diary and started to sleep. The next morning, the ritual of brushing the teeth without brushing (that’s what we do in trains) was finished by me. I got a samosa to eat and was feeling really tired though I did not do any work. My mind was wandering and finally stopped at the diary. I really had no idea how my parents stressed themselves to bring me up nor had I really bothered to ask. I always got what I wanted and I guess they sacrificed their needs to satisfy mine. I was not really close to my father nor my mother because neither of them would be at home early before I fell asleep.
Again boredom started and I started to read the diary to know about my parent’s, at least now rather than never.
Your mother had only two wishes in her life Annie…
One is to live with us forever and another was to board a train before her death. She never went in train because of our family situation, and I did promise her that I would surely get to board her on a train. But I was not able to satisfy her both wishes as you know……….
At this point, I closed the diary for a moment and thought of my mom’s wish. To me at this stage, I would say that it was a crazy wish but for her it was like a dream hoping to come true. And yes, I do know why my father was not able to fulfill both of her wishes. I did not know what happened to me but I lost the mood to read the diary. SO I just started looking at the window and fell asleep.
MY train arrived at the Chennai station and my husband was there to pick me up. "How was your travel last night?" he asked, I muttered it could have been better. “Well, we humans are never really happy with what we have.” I don’t know how that sentence actually suited in this situation but I was in no mood to argue so I just went along with him.
The reason I was returning from my mom’s place to Chennai was because my doctor called me urgently. I have a habit of doing health checkups every six months. But this time, I did it within 3 months because I was suffering a lot of vomiting, sleep problems, fatigue and weakness. When I asked my doctor what was it about, She was not ready to tell it on phone. She asked me to come over and that’s why I am here now.
“Come in”, my doctor said as I got to her room. When I asked for what she asked me to come very urgently, she was hesitating for some time and finally blurted out that I have a kidney failure. Well, I could not really believe it so I tried to rewind my life a few seconds and passed and stressed on the word KIDNEY FAILURE. My doctor continued that if I have to take dialysis on this age, well it is a less chance I would even survive and she stressed that I need a kidney transplant right away.
I had no idea what I was about to do, neither my husband. Doctor said that my blood group kidney would suit best for me. And for now, the only blood group related person for me is my mother. I was lost in thought of imagining how I am going to tell my mother about this. I returned home all the way thinking of my current situation.
Deep down, somewhere, I had a feeling that mother would definitely help me out in this situation, but I had no idea what effect it would do on her health. I washed my face and had a cup of tea. More than asking my mother for a kidney, I was worried of opening this issue to her, this may break her down. Well, anyway one day or the other she will come to know this.
I wish I could have been there with you… but I can't… I don’t know what is the reason for me to stay alive in this place, when I can't meet you two. But neither can I die because I love each and every moment when I think about our times together.
Have you informed your mother about this? My husband distracted me from reading the diary. I replied a flat NO with irritation. He told me to do it as soon as possible. This is not something we can share in phone. I want to tell her in person. So the very next day, I again travelled to my mother’s place in train. When I entered the house, the door was open, fan was running in the hall, and there my mother was sleeping with her mouth open. I had never seen her do this. From my young age, she has insisted me not to sleep with my mouth open. This was the time I realized that maybe older people turn very old, but also very young. I did not want to disturb her, so I just went on with my unpacking.
She got up after an hour, she was bit surprised to see me. She asked what was the reason I am here now. I said nothing as I don’t want to just spill the reason of my visit to her. Asking her for a kidney like asking a pen to borrow would be a crazy idea. It was dinner time and after I finished eating the dinner, I sat down with my mother and explained about my illness briefly to her. She was already in tears and I was holding her hand. All she did was cry and cry without saying anything. After sometime she calmed down. I told her that if she would lend me a kidney, I will become alright again. "I wish I could, but I can't”, my mother said. Well, I was not really expecting this answer from her. I expected something like Yes of course or Yes it is my pleasure, etc….. Hearing this, I could not actually believe what I have heard. MY mother refusing to donate a kidney to me so I can be alive??!
I had lot of questions and confusions in my mind and I acted rather aggressively towards her. I threw the tv remote which was placed beside me and kicked the sofa in frustration, though nothing was caused to me other than pain in my leg. I Went into my room and locked the door and started to calm myself down. Thinking that my best hope of getting the kidney from my mother was not on the table now, I felt really scared.
The next day, my mother asked me to take her to hospital for her checkup though she did not mention why she wanted to go. I was still very angry with her and had not spoken a word with her since I locked myself up in the room. But also I just can’t let her alone when I am here, so I took her to the hospital. She asked me to stay out. I did. I had no idea how many check ups she was doing, but I was sitting there for more than an hour and I had no news from her. I was really irritated. Finally, she came and I asked her what was she doing for a very long time. She said nothing, just normal check up. I knew that she was hiding something from me, but at that moment, I did not bother to find it out.
AT home my mother was soon asleep, while her mobile rang. She was sleeping, so I took the phone to answer. It was her doctor. She asked for my mother, while I said she was asleep and I am her daughter. She said “ok fine, I hope you convey this message to your mother. I know your family is having a hard time there, but as a doctor I can't hide the truth, your mothers cancer can’t be cured. She may not live long. Sorry for your loss, get her to call me when she is free”.
That phone call was a lot shocking. The word CANCER struck me like thunder. I went like a paralyzed person, not able to move nor do anything. I did not know what to do, cry, shout, or what else???? And now I understood that why she can’t give me a kidney. Well no cancer patients could. She was hiding this from me for a long time. She wants me to be happy and still she was sacrificing herself for my happiness. I felt a lot ashamed for the way I reacted towards her. I should have asked the reason or at least tried to find out why she went to hospital. But I did nothing. And now I feel like a lost child in woods with no one to accompany.
While I was thinking about it, I remembered the diary where my father mentioned her last wish. So I started reading the last page alone as I didn’t know how long my mother had before ending her life. Though, I should think of curing her, to me at this stage, I thought fulfilling her last wish would be more practical than trying to cure the cancer which has very little probability to be cured. SO I started to read the last page of diary as my father said, since I was eager to know my mothers last wish.
Annie, she doesn’t want you to take her to a 5 star hotel nor to America. All she wishes is to travel in a train before her life ends…….She was always more keen on your happiness than mine. In fact, THE ONLY MOMENT YOUR MOTHER LAUGHED WHEN YOU CRIED, WAS THE MOMENT SHE WAS HOLDING YOU IN HER HAND AS A NEW BORN BABY. I hope you fulfill her wish annie……even if you don’t, she will keep you happy till her last breath… but after reading this diary, if you ever have a thought that you should repay some of the happiness to your mom, well, don’t think of building her a palace or a temple. Just take her on a train trip………This way, you fulfill both of your parent’s wishes……
Love
DAD
The least and the most I could do at this situation was to take my mother on a train. So the next day, I told my mother we are going to Chennai. She asked how? I said by train. That’s when I saw a great smile on her face after a very long time. Though she never mentioned this wish of hers to me, I can see the glowing happiness in her eyes.
We boarded the train. She sat on a window seat and started admiring the view. The whole time she was in the train, she loved to hear the sound of tracks and the view of greenery which is present outside the train while we pass. She had not spoken much after we boarded the train, but she did let out a huge smile seeing me. I was happy to see the smiling face of her.
When night arrived, she gave me a good night kiss on my forehead and said "you have fulfilled by last wish annie. Love you." With that, she went to sleep. But this sleep of hers was rather very long and endless and it was her last sleep. Yeah, my mother never got up the next morning………she was sleeping for a very long time. All I could do was cry. She never told me about her illness. My father’s statement had come true, she kept me happy till her last breath.
A Few Weeks later,
My fight to survive was over and I finally got a kidney transplant. I was now sitting in the hospital. Now again, I had to think about the same idiom, “Variety is the spice of life”. Within a span of few months, I had experienced lots of hurdles and emotions. This is when I realized the beauty of the statement, the beauty of life, the beauty of my parents. Beside me, was my fathers diary. The only thing I can keep on remembrance of my parents.
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